Sibling Support Guide

Even short pockets of one-on-one time make a difference. This could be a walk, a shared snack, a bedtime chat, or a trip to the park. The goal is for siblings to know they have your full attention without competing for it.

• You can use books, videos, or stories from trusted advocates to help siblings understand in concrete ways.”

​​

• Use clear, age-appropriate language: “Your brother’s brain works differently, so he learns in different ways. Everyone’s brain is unique.”
   

• Avoid medical jargon unless your child asks for it.
   

• Focus on strengths and supports rather than deficits or “fixing.”

• Show that supports like visual schedules, noise-reducing headphones, or movement breaks are simply tools—just like glasses help you see or a calculator helps with math.
   

• Offer siblings their own tools when helpful.

Siblings may feel proud, protective, confused, frustrated, or jealous—sometimes all in one day.

​

• Let them know all feelings are valid.
   

• Avoid guilt-based responses like “You should be grateful”.
   

• Create space to talk openly without judgment.

​​

• It’s okay if siblings sometimes want a break from each other — that doesn’t mean they love each other less.

• Include siblings in celebrations and small moments of progress.
   

• Ask if they’d like to learn about therapy tools or be part of sessions—but never make participation mandatory.

​​

• Give them permission to have their own activities and friendships that aren’t connected to their sibling’s needs.

• Encourage siblings to share stories, inside jokes, or favorite memories with their neurodivergent sibling.
   

• Make time for shared fun—board games, cooking, outdoor play—that’s not about therapy or skill-building.

• Don’t put siblings in the position of explaining or defending their sibling in public.
   

• Teach them to say “That’s private” if asked questions that feel too personal.
   

• Share your own confident, respectful language when you respond to curiosity or misunderstandings.

​​

• ​Reassure them it’s not their job to answer every question—adults will handle that.

From ND advocates like NeuroWild and  Mrs. Speechie P:

​

• Encourage phrases like “Different doesn’t mean less—it means unique”.
   

• Give examples they can share when talking to friends, teachers, or other family members that highlight strengths and differences without shame. Share simple phrases they can use if they want to.

Changes in sleep, appetite, behavior, or school performance can be signs a sibling is feeling stressed.

​

• Sometimes siblings benefit from talking to a counselor, joining a sibling support group, or connecting with other kids in similar situations.
   

• Support groups (in person or online) can normalize their experiences and help them feel less alone.

• Set aside a predictable time (like bedtime tuck-ins or car rides) to ask about their day with no interruptions. This can be as simple as five minutes before bed or a short walk together — the predictability matters more than the length.

​​

• Make sure this time isn’t shared with sibling caregiving responsibilities.

• When you respond calmly and affirm differences, siblings learn how to advocate with confidence and pride.

​​

• Demonstrate that differences are a natural part of human diversity, not something to be hidden.